#adam absolutely smiled at morgan as she first came in. HE DID. *ALSO we saw you posing against the window sir*

[inafieldofdaisies]

High Potential (2024—) | Season 1, Episode 3 "Dirty Rotten Scoundrel" | Daniel Sunjata as Det. Adam Karadec

“I'm gonna have to rely on someone I rather not deal with.” “Mmm. Welcome to my world.”

Bonus, he is so done *SO SO DONE*

[enbyprentiss]

Can i request from Smut prompts #31 #60 #74?

Thanks

🥰

#31: “Don’t kink shame me!”

#60: “You have no idea how much I want you/”

#74: “Yep, that’s me. I love to fuck.”

Pairing: Spencer x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Virgin!Spencer (I pictured like season four), also sub!Spencer, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, oral/fingering (female receiving). mentions of alcohol and intoxication

--

It was rare that the BAU ever caught a break. But, when they did, they usually went to bars to celebrate being able to rest for a bit. And tonight was no different. Hotch and Rossi were long gone. Hotch having to get home for Jack, and Rossi said he was ‘too old to be out this late’. Leaving just the younger agents together. They were a few shots in with the addition of mixed drinks and or beers. So, of course, they were all very tipsy. Except for Reid, who opted to stick with glasses of water. But that didn’t stop the others from playing games and asking questions that, like usual, turned sexual very quickly. By the time Spencer zoned back into the conversation, Derek and Y/N were playfully teasing.

“Oh, please. You, Derek Morgan, are just jealous that I pick up more ladies and men than you ever do on cases.”

“Alright, whatever you say, Little Mama.”, he surrendered. 

“You both pick up plenty of people, but nobody picks up more working girls than Spence.”, JJ chuckled. A light blush covered his face at the comment. He was always a little timid when it came to topics like these, mostly because of his lack of experience.

“Who can blame ‘em?”, Y/N smiled cheekily, tracing along the young genius’s jawline with her index finger.

“And what exactly does that mean, Y/N?”, Emily arched her eyebrow with a highly amused smirk.

“Have you seen him? We don’t call him ‘pretty boy’ for nothing.”, she bit her bottom lip as Spencer’s already extremely present blush spread all the way down to his neck.

“Ok, ok, Y/N. You’re gonna give poor Reid a heart attack from all that flirting.”

“Hey! Who said I was flirting?”, she crossed her arms at the uproar of laughter from her friends, but she still saw the small smile on Spencer’s blushy face.

Eventually, the topic had switched, focusing on Emily’s latest Sex Capades. Though, even in her slightly delirious state Y/N could feel Spencer’s doe eyes on her every once in a while and see out of the corner of her eye how he kept shifting in his seat. And the more this went on, the more she couldn’t contain herself.

She turned more towards him, twirling his tie in her fingers, “You have no idea how bad I want you, do you?”

Spencer attempted to stutter out a few words to no avail while everyone else watched in amusement and slight shock. They never thought she would really go for it.

“Geez, Y/N, you really just want everyone you can get your hands on, huh?”

“Yep, that’s me. I love to fuck. But mostly when they’re just as pretty as Dr. Reid.”, the use of his honorific made him shudder and his pants grow just a little tighter, no matter how much he tried to fight it off. His own body always found ways to betray him as he mentally cursed himself. 

“Well, that may be a little bit of a problem. You know Reid’s a virgin.”, Derek was always very adamant about this being a fact despite Spencer’s failure to confirm this.

“I don’t see how that’s a problem. In fact, it might be even better.”, she gazed deep into Spencer’s light brown eyes, relishing in how his pupils had dilated to the point where they consumed most of his irises. 

“I’m sorry. What?!”

“Don’t kink shame me! Maybe I have a bit of a thing for innocence--and corruption too.”, she added on the second part much quieter. Spencer hung onto every word, his mind wandering to every and any possibility, which created quite the problem for him...downstairs. He tried to clear his mind, but all he could fill his thoughts with was his pure adoration--fascination with Y/N. Of course, she picked up on this and was simply waiting for the night to come to an end. 

After what felt like an eternity, the night did eventually start to wind down. Everyone began to say their goodbyes and Y/N reached her hand out, offering it to Reid. 

“C’mon, I’ll take you home.”, but he could tell by the smirk on her face that she had other plans and he began to buzz with excitement. She turned to him as soon as they entered the car (she was well sober enough to drive at this point), “Nothing more has to happen tonight. I really can just take you home, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”, and now her mischievous smirk had turned into a sweet and honest smile. 

“N-no! You’re not. P-please take me to your apartment.”, he bowed his head down in slight embarrassment at his vague admission.

“Are you sure?”, he nodded, “And you know you can change your mind at any point, right?”

“Mhm. Just--please.”

“You’re a beggar, huh? I like that.”

--

Y/N could tell that Spencer was nervous the minute they stepped into her apartment. She gently took his shaky hands in hers, not wanting to startle him, “Spence, I mean it, if you don’t want this it’s ok. I won’t be mad.”

“No--I want to.”

“What do you want?”

“K-kiss me, please?”, who was she to deny him when he was so sweet. She places one hand on his cheek, the other toying with some of his soft brown curls, and pressed her lips gently on his. She brushed her tongue against his bottom lip, silently asking for access, and when he moaned quietly into the kiss she took her opportunity. He wrapped his arms completely around her waist, wanting her impossibly closer and whining when he had to pull back for air, “I really am a virgin, you know? And I know you said you wouldn’t mind but you were also under the influence and--”

“Spencer, it doesn’t matter. If you’re ok with this being your first time, then I am too.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Virginity’s a social construct anyway. So if it doesn’t bother you, then it’s ok. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“I’m ok with it.”

“Good.”, she leads him into her bedroom, pushing him onto the bed and straddling his lap. Y/N reconnected their lips, dominating the kiss with ease, rocking her hips every once in a while against his very apparent erection. She only broke the kiss to discard her shirt to the side, Spencer breaking it again shortly after. 

He tugged at her bra strap muttering a little ‘Off, off, please.’

“Needy little thing, aren’t you, baby?”, he nodded shyly as she unhooked her bra, letting it fall off her shoulders. With the way his lips parted, his pupils dilated, and the ginormous blush on his face, he just had to know what he was doing to her. She kissed her way across his jaw, leaning in and pressing her lips against his ear, “You can touch, honey.”

With that permission, he didn’t hesitate to explore her breasts gently while she sucked marks against his smooth skin and unbuttoned some of the buttons at the top of his shirt. 

“W-wait. Can I--um..uh--”

“Can you what, baby?”

“Can I--eat you out, please? I just wanna try--”

“I thought you’d never ask.”, she smiled and pressed another small kiss on his lips before laying back on the bed and slipping her pants off along with her panties. Which left her bare in front of an amazed Spencer. He was absolutely mesmerized by her, her beauty, and the way she was glistening between her legs. He couldn’t believe that he had done that to her. He shook his head, remembering what he was supposed to be doing, and kissed up her thighs softly. He licked a stripe up her core, finding her clit almost immediately. He’s a genius with an eidetic memory of course he would have knowledge of basic anatomy and maybe even pleasure. And once he found that spot that made her squirm, he latched on, making little kitten licks against her.

Y/N tangled her hands in his hair, “Doing so good for me, baby. Such a good boy.”, the mixture of the praise and her tugging on his hair made him let out a filthy moan against her, much to her delight. And even though she loved what he was doing to her she wanted more, “Can you put some of your pretty little fingers in me, sweet boy?”

He obliged, slicking up his fingers in her arousal before pushing two into her. He relished in every little moan and curse that escaped her, and now that he heard that noise, he never wanted to stop hearing it.

“Oh--just curl your fingers up a little bit for me. Fuck! Yes, just like that, such a good boy.”

Spencer sucked on her clit softly, curling his fingers on every upward thrust until she was unraveling before him and he made sure to lick up every last drop of her before sitting back up.

“Aw, look at you. All messy.”, she swiped his chin that was glistening with her cum with her thumb, putting it in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, letting out a soft moan. She pulled her thumb from between his lips when she was satisfied with how well he had done, “Can you strip for me, baby?”

He nodded softly and began to remove articles of clothing. Spencer was already very blushy and the way Y/N was looking at him with an almost--primal look in her eyes was certainly not helping. She licked her lips, catching the bottom one between her teeth slightly, “I should’ve known you could get so much prettier.”, he smiled slightly as she guided him back onto the bed, leaning him back against the headboard more and straddling him once more.

Y/N dragged her fingertips down his chest softly, taking a minute to admire every inch of his skin, all while kissing him softly, “Are you ready, honey?”

“Yes.”

She took his cock in her hands, stroking a few times before guiding him into her entrance, sinking down slowly. He wasn’t even halfway in when Y/N noticed his eyes squeezing shut and his lips parting, and she wished she could borrow his eidetic memory to remember this image forever. 

Spencer gripped her waist tighter, “Oh--feels so good.”

“Yeah? Well, it only gets better from here, pretty boy.”, and before he got to question her, she raised her hips only to slam them back down onto him, making him yelp. She set a steady rhythm and leaned more into Spencer so that she could feel every downright filthy moan that escaped him against her lips.

Spencer was trying his best to hold back his orgasm, but he felt himself getting closer and closer to falling off the edge, “Oh--fuck.”, he cursed under his breath an uncharacteristic thing for the doctor, “I-I’m not going to last longer, Y/N. Feels--too good...”

“That’s ok. You were already such a good boy tonight. You can let go, baby.”, she tugged on his curls again, knowing just how much he liked it. And sure enough, he fell over the edge, spilling into her with a filthy moan and burying his head into her neck. He whispered little ‘thank you’s’ while she brushed her fingers through his hair, kissing any of his exposed skin that she could reach. 

Eventually, she had to get up, returning with a warm washcloth to clean them both up, “Well, congratulations Spencer Reid, you are officially no longer a virgin.”, she kissed him softly again, “Maybe Derek will finally lay off those stupid jokes now.”

“Yeah, maybe.”, his heart fluttered at the idea of everyone knowing what had happened. That she wanted everyone to know that he had had his first time with the most beautiful, perfect girl he could ever imagine.

[sunmoonandeddie]

feelings are fatal (5/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 4,255

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, unwanted flirting, anxiety attack

masterlist

a/n: Let me know what you think!

“You can’t be serious.”

Rolling your eyes, you put one hand on your hip as it cocked to the side.  “What makes you think I’m not, Sam?” You asked as you glared daggers at the two men in front of you.

Bucky just smirked as he watched the two of you going at it.  He wasn’t about to get into the middle of the two of you, even though he was also wearing a blue and orange jersey just like his best friend.  His favorite team had left New York ages ago and taken up residency in Los Angeles.  It was a sad, sad day when he’d found out that the Brooklyn Dodgers were no more.

Sam gestured to you, waving his hands all over the place.  “You’re… You’re wearing a Cardinals jersey!”

“And?  It’s a Cardinals game, dumb ass.”

“It’s a Mets game!  And we live in New York!  We’re supposed to support the home team!”

You raised your eyebrows.  “I am.  My dad was from the Midwest—St. Louis, specifically—so this is my home team.”

He sputtered, staring at you in disbelief.  “You don’t even remember St. Louis!”

“And?”

He narrowed his eyes at you as he crossed his arms over his chest.  Sam was quickly realizing that he couldn’t win this fight.  He couldn’t even force you into the Mets jersey he had been planning on letting you borrow until he found you in a red and white jersey with a fucking bird on it.  “Bucky’s sitting in the middle at the stadium,” he said before turning on his heel and marching towards the garage.

“Shall we?” Bucky asked as he held out his arm for you to take.  There was a soft smile still lingering on his lips.

“Depends,” you said, even though you looped your arm with his anyway.  “Are you going to give me shit for my jersey choices, too?”

He barked out a laugh, shaking his head.  “My team left Brooklyn in 1958 and I didn’t find out about it until I came out of my programming.  I only took this jersey because Sam threw it at me.”

“I’m sorry it’s not the Dodgers,” you said quietly, gnawing on your bottom lip absentmindedly.  You had heard that the super soldier was a baseball fan before the war, and when you found out that the Major League Baseball was starting up again, you’d immediately bought tickets for the first game in New York City.  It was also a little weird, to have a season starting in mid-June, but whatever.  The MLB had resigned itself to a super short season this year.  Anything to get up and going again.  You’d had to pull a few strings to get good tickets—aka, using the Avengers card—since it seemed like everyone was dying to see a game.  

They didn’t call it America’s Favorite Pastime for nothing.

It had actually been a coincidence that they were playing the Cardinals, but you hadn’t hesitated to order a jersey once you saw it. It was a little thing to connect you to your parents, even though you didn’t remember them.

“Hey,” Bucky said, nudging you so you’d look up at him. “I don’t care if it’s the Dodgers or not.  I haven’t been to a game since before I got drafted.”  He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, letting it linger for what was a little longer than necessary.  “This means the world to me, sugar.”

You closed your eyes as you felt his soft lips against your skin, relishing in the contact before he pulled away.  “I’m sorry that I invited bird brain,” you said with a giggle. “I didn’t know he’d get so upset over me wearing a jersey.”

“We’ll just have to spend the entire game annoying him then, won’t we?”

“I heard that!” Sam shouted from where he stood beside the driver’s side of one of Tony’s cars.  Your and Bucky’s laughter bounced around the huge garage as you headed for him.  “You two are gonna be the death of me, I swear.”

The drive to Citi Field somehow didn’t end in a murder. You had dozed off in the backseat about fifteen minutes in, due to the late night before.  Morgan had been having nightmares and you’d stayed up with her even after she fell asleep.  Pepper had been losing sleep over her little girl and since she’d been going back to being the CEO—and now owner—of Stark Industries, she needed all the sleep she could get.

“She stay up with Mo again last night?” Sam asked, glancing up at you in the rearview mirror.  Your cheek was smashed against the window, your phone hanging loosely from your fingers.

Bucky’s sea blue eyes were already on you, and he was feeling rather warm as he watched the way your shoulders gently rose and fell with each breath.  “She was still awake when I went to check on her at three.”

The other man smirked as he watched the road.  “You check on her, huh?”

He already knew where this was going, and he fought off an eye roll.  “Don’t even go there.”

“I’m not going anywhere.  I just think that it’s a little strange for a friend to—”

“Y/N checks in on Pepper all the time,” Buck retorted, staring out his side window.  He could ignore Sam and also watch you in the mirror.  A win-win all around.

“That’s because she’s a good person.”

The super soldier reached over and shoved him, though not hard enough to make him swerve.  He might’ve if they were alone, but there was precious cargo in the backseat, and he wasn’t risking it.  “Are you saying I’m not?”

Sam shrugged, glancing over at his friend. The city was coming into view up ahead. “I’m just saying that you check on her because you’re in love with her.  She checks on Pepper because she wants to make sure that she’s taking care of herself and sleeping.  Same reason she stays up with Morgan and doesn’t let her wake up her mom.”

“Thank you, by the way,” Bucky said as he stared at the upcoming skyline.  “When you got her angry.  She’s gotten a little better the past few days.”  He paused, nose scrunching.  “Well, I don’t know if ‘better’ is the right word.  But she’s not as numb anymore.”

“When my mom died, I didn’t even cry at the funeral,” he said tentatively.  His eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror, making sure you were still asleep.  “I didn’t cry for four months.  Then, I dropped her favorite coffee mug one morning and it shattered.  And I just… I broke down.  Everything I’d been ignoring and pushing away came to the surface.” He sighed, his knuckles white from his grip on the steering wheel.  “I know it was unconventional, but anything is better than being numb and ignoring what’s going on.  Anything.”

The game ended up being packed, completely sold out. Any other day, the crowds would be cranky.  The parking was awful—cars still had to be towed from where they’d been dumped after the Snap—and the lines were outrageous.  The food and drinks were still over-priced and Bucky says something that starts with, “Back in my day,” but no one cares.

Because for the first time in five years, there’s a baseball game.  There’s a baseball game and everyone is just so grateful that they get to experience it.

The three of you end up in the first row behind the Mets dugout, right along the aisle.  Sam was still adamant that Bucky sits in the middle, but you didn’t really mind. His hand was resting on his leg as he was turned, talking to Sam about something you didn’t care to know.

I wonder what it’d be like to hold his hand, you thought.  Your cheeks flooded with color as you shook your head, immediately dismissing the thought. What the hell was that?

“Hey, aren’t you one of the Avengers?”

You blinked slowly, coming back to the present before turning to see one of the baseball players staring up at you.  He was one of the older ones, probably around thirty.  The number seventeen was printed on his jersey.  You didn’t recognize him, but that was to be expected.  You weren’t exactly a big fan of baseball before or after the Snap.  “What?”

He grinned, and it struck you that it was a little flirtier than a normal smile.  “They had that press conference for you years ago.  You were—what?  Twenty?”

“Eighteen,” you said, thinking back to that first press conference when it’d been announced that you were officially an Avenger.  It’d only been three months after Natasha had recruited you, getting you out of the grasp of the Red Room and HYDRA.

The baseball player whistled, shaking his head. “Eighteen.  I was still playing college ball back then.”  He shot you a wink that made your skin crawl.  “You were cute.  Still are.”

You were vaguely aware that the conversation between Bucky and Sam had stopped, that the super soldier beside you had tensed up.  The hand that you had just been thinking about holding was clenched into a tight fist.  “Uh, thank you.”

“Pity you’re a Cards fan,” he said with a nod towards your shirt.  He clearly wasn’t getting the signals that said that you absolutely did not want to talk.

And it wasn’t even that he wasn’t attractive. He was actually kind of alright looking. It was just that you were there to spend time with Bucky and Sam, not get hit on.

“Oh, uh…”  You looked down at the red and white fabric, grabbing it for a moment.  You weren’t exactly sure how to respond so you just shrugged.  “My dad’s from St. Louis.”

“Maybe I can convert you.”

You must’ve suddenly turned into a guppy, because your mouth kept opening and closing like a fish as you tried to think of something to say that would tell him—very clearly—that you weren’t interested.  But he had a stupid smirk on his lips that made your skin crawl and you knew that there were cameras somewhere on you and—

“Sugar, is he bothering you?” Bucky asked, glaring daggers at the guy.  He protectively wrapped his left arm around you, pulling you a little closer.  The metal digits of his hand stroked your shoulder protectively over the thick fabric of your jersey.

Seventeen’s eyes widened as he took in the man beside you. He’d clearly been so enamored with you that he hadn’t noticed the two other Avengers sitting in the next two seats. “Uh—”

Sam was sitting on the edge of his seat as he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.  “If I were you, I’d turn around and pay attention to the game.  Maybe then you wouldn’t be losing.”

The man’s eyes flickered between all three of you, clearly trying to decide whether it was worth it.  After a moment of hesitation, he turned away and made his way deeper into the dugout.  He was clearly pouting, but you really didn’t care.

“Thank you,” you breathed as you felt the tension in your shoulders dissipate.  You didn’t move from Bucky’s embrace, though, choosing instead to curl up closer against him in case the man came back.  Plus, the metal arm was a nice respite to the late June heat.

“Of course,” he breathed, though his eyes stayed locked on the game.  He was sure that if he turned to look at you, he wouldn’t be able to stop.  He’d spend way too long gazing at you, memorizing your features even more than he already had.  But it was so rare for him to be able to look at you this closely.  If he just turned his head slightly, he’d be able to count your eyelashes, see the little flecks in your e/c eyes.

He could feel the way your eyes kept flicking back over to him as you curled further into his side.  It hadn’t hit you just how truly touch-starved you were until this moment.  Sure, you’d held Morgan and things like that, but nothing like this.  It was… nice.  “I wasn’t sure how to tell him no,” you said with a faint laugh, trying to play it off even though you’d been pretty uncomfortable.  “I know that the press would have a field day if they got a story about an Avenger turning down a baseball player.  They’d take it out of context and make it seem like I’m a heartless bitch.”

“Well, fuck them,” he said, his jaw clenching. It pissed him the fuck off that you were scared to tell a man no because of how the media would portray you.  “Right?  Fuck the press.  You have every right to turn him down.  Avenger or not.”

Sam suddenly came into your field of vision as he leaned over, a playful grin on his lips.  “I can kick his ass for you if you want.”

“No, that’s—”

You were suddenly caught off by the large screen lighting up, bright red letters saying ‘Kiss Cam!’ flashing on it as a bunch of hearts floated around it.  Your eyes were locked on the couples that flashed across the screen, a soft grin on your face.  It was nice to know that love was still a thing that existed.  It kind of reminded you of that picture from the end of World War II, with the sailor dipping a girl and kissing her in the middle of Times Square.

But you didn’t notice the camera crew that had crouched in front of you and Bucky until you saw yourself on the screen, his metal arm still wrapped around you as your head rested on his shoulder.  It looked so coupley that it made sense that the camera crew would’ve chosen you.  You were Avengers who appeared to be dating.  The heroes of the century.  Of course they’d want you on their big screen.

Your heart pounded against your rib cage as you sat up in your seat.  His arm fell off you as waves of panic began to radiate from your body.  What could you do?  You were going to have to kiss him.  You were going to have to kiss Bucky, and even though that wasn’t a repulsive, your mind immediately went to Steve.  You knew that you shouldn’t be worried about what he’d think, that you shouldn’t worry that you’d be betraying him, but you couldn’t help it.

The crowd was beginning to chant, clearly getting impatient.  All the noise around you was just adding to your anxiety.  The man behind you clapped a hand on your shoulder and pushed you towards the super soldier harshly.

The man beside you whirled around, opening his mouth to chew out the man, but before he could say anything, Sam—who was in the shot—dragged him over to him and smacked a big kiss on his cheek.  The crowd didn’t seem very happy, but the camera crew moved on after they realized that they weren’t going to get a smooch between you and Buck.

Sam said, “You’re welcome,” even though you didn’t hear it.  You could hear the blood pounding in your ears.  Everything felt like it was closing in, which was ridiculous because you were in an open air stadium.  The former assassin beside you was currently turned around, sharing sharp words with the man who had pushed you, but you didn’t hear any of it.  Your hands trembled where they rested on your lap.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Yeah, doll?”

You stared up at the ceiling of the shitty motel room, your lip worn from being bitten so much.  Your hands were fiddling with the stiff white sheet covering the two of you.  “Have you ever thought about our future?”

The super soldier rolled onto his side, so he was facing you, his brows furrowed. The look on his face was serious—but then again, it always was.  You honestly couldn’t remember the last time your boyfriend of two years had laughed, though you’re sure it was before you went on the run.  “Where’s this coming from?” He asked.

You moved to face him, close enough that you could feel his warm breath on your face.  “I don’t know.  I just…” Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath.  You knew that this was reaching into territory that he didn’t like.  “I miss the rest of our family.”

“Y/N—”

“And I know,” you said, sitting up suddenly, “that you and Tony aren’t… good. And you know that I agree with you on the Accords.”  You were growing flustered as you ran your fingers through your hair.  Steve’s t-shirt hung off your shoulders as your hands moved with your words.  “Signing them would mean that we would’ve become nothing more than brainless pawns.”  He watched quietly as you deflated, picking at the bedsheet underneath you.  A sign of just how anxious you were.  “I miss them.”

Steve sat up, reaching out to brush your hair away from your face.  “I miss them, too, doll,” he said, his voice cracking.

You were shocked to find tears rimming his eyes.  Your hand reached up to cover his where it rested on your cheek. “I want to go home,” you croaked. A laugh wrenched itself from your throat as his forehead leaned against yours.  For a moment, it was just you two.  Nothing else outside mattered, and you could pretend that you were just young lovers spending the night in a foreign country.  You could pretend that you weren’t considered criminals.  “We’re a mess,” you giggled as he wiped at your tears.

“But I’m your mess,” he said teasingly, his fingers reaching out to grab at your sides.  All seriousness was lost as he tickled you, straddling you so that you couldn’t get away.  His laughter bounced around the hotel room, and it was so warm and so good that you didn’t even mind that he still hadn’t given up on tickling you.

When he finally stopped, collapsing beside you, the two of you just laid there. Your heavy breathing was the only sound in the otherwise silent room.  Turning on your side, you were surprised to find him already frowning again.  “Hey, hey now,” you said as you moved to curl up into his side.  “We’re having a good time, don’t go all Mister Serious on me now.”

A small smile cracked across his face.  “Mister Serious.”

Your finger traced small shapes on his bare chest.  The feeling of his steady breathing always helped to ground you. It had gotten so bad that you weren’t able to sleep without the sound of him beside you.  “I haven’t heard you laugh in a long time,” you murmured, barely audible.

“I wish I could give you more than this.”

“What?”

His baby blue eyes were locked on the ceiling, a tension in his jaw that hadn’t been there before.  “You deserve someone who can give you a future.”  His hand reached up to grab yours, squeezing you softly.  “I’m always in the past, trying to catch up on everything I’ve missed.  Trying to find where I belong.”

“I don’t mind,” you said timidly, trying to gauge exactly where he was going with this.  If this was an attempt to break up with him, you might have to have words with him on leaving his girlfriend right after fucking her while they’re on the run because she became a criminal for him.  His eyes slid over to you and you intertwined your fingers with his.  “I was never one for a white picket fence, you know.  The idea of being a soccer mom with a minivan isn’t very appealing.”

You’re rewarded with a snort as the hand that isn’t in yours gently runs through your hair.  You can’t help but wince as he catches a few knots, but he doesn’t seem to notice.  “Sometimes I think I never should’ve been Captain America,” he said, and you felt the rumble of his voice in his chest more than you heard it.

“Why’s that?”

“I still feel like I don’t belong in the twenty-first century,” he admitted. There was a lump in his throat that he was fighting to speak around.  “Sure, times were rough back then and it really sucked being sick all the time, but at least I understood the world around me.  Here…”  You had gone completely silent, letting him get all of it out and wondering how long he’d felt like this.  “I always feel out of place.  Like I’m a step behind everyone else and I’ll never catch up.”  The weight of his hand in yours disappeared as he wiped at his eyes. “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t want to—”  He sat up, rubbing both of his eyes as he tried to hide from you, curling in on himself. “I don’t want to make you think that I don’t love you, because I do.  But sometimes—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you said as you tenderly wrapped your arms around him.  Resting your head on his shoulder blade, you gently began to rock him back and forth.  “You’re okay.  We’re okay.  I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

“Bucky,” Sam said as he watched you.  He could see the panic that still resided in you, even though it’d calmed considerably when he’d kissed him.

“—dare you touch her like that.”

“Bucky.”

“I have half a mind to—”

“BUCKY!”

The man in question finally turned, his eyes narrowed darkly as he stared at Sam.  “What?” He snapped.  He clearly wasn’t done chewing out the older gentleman.

“We need to get her home,” he said, nodding at you.

You were still staring into space, your chest heaving with the shallow breaths you were taking.  It was too much.  Too much. The cameras on you, the chanting of the crowd.  The feeling of unfamiliar hands shoving you.

Bucky reached for you, gently getting you to stand. “Come on, sugar,” he said, his voice dropping to a gentle whisper.  All the anger that had been in his eyes just moments before was gone.  “Come on.  Let’s go home.”

When you got back to the compound, you were still shaken, though you were starting to come out of it.  Your heart wasn’t about to beat out of your chest, at least.  The car ride home had been completely silent other than the soft whirring of the air conditioner.

Someone—Wanda, maybe—guided you to the couch and pressed a mug of chamomile tea into your hands, but you couldn’t be sure. Everything still felt a little fuzzy.

When everything came to, you found Bucky sitting on the other side of the couch.  He had his nose buried in a book and was completely entranced.  “James?” You said.  The sound that came out of your throat was raspy and choked, as though you’d been gargling gravel.

His eyes went to you immediately and he dropped the book, scooting a little closer to you.  He was more than a little surprised that you used his actual name, but he didn’t mind.  Rather, he enjoyed it.  He liked the way that it rolled off your tongue like the sweetest honey.  “Hey, sugar.  How are you feeling?”

You knew that he was trying to give you space, clearly unsure how close you were comfortable with him being.  So you took it upon yourself and tucked yourself into his side.  “I’m sorry.”

“What on earth are you sorry for?”  He tugged you closer so that you were half-sitting on his lap, his arms wrapping around you like a cocoon.

“We were supposed to have a good day, and then we left before the bottom of the fourth because of me,” you said, your lower lip quivering.

“Hey, we still had a good time,” he reassured you as he rested his chin on your forehead.  “It’s not your fault that there were a bunch of douche bags there.”

“Still, I—”

He squeezed you a little tighter, rocking you a bit. “No, no, no.  ‘Still’ nothing.  It’s not your fault.”  He kissed a forehead.  And he could admit that he wanted to kiss you.  He wanted to kiss you more than anything in the world—and probably had since your days in the Red Room—but that wasn’t the right moment.  You were still grieving the loss of your relationship, for one, and he wasn’t about to have your first kiss be broadcast to thousands of people.

Even though you still felt like a bit of a disaster, it wasn’t so bad knowing that your friends weren’t angry with you.  Hell, you’d spent over half the car ride back convinced that they were going to be pissed that you all had left before the game was half over just because you couldn’t get a handle on your emotions.  You giggled softly, burrowing into his chest.  “Did you really say ‘douche bags?’”

And Bucky grinned as his fingers flew to your sides, tickling you mercilessly.  “And so what if I did, huh?  What if I did?”

You burst into laughter, squirming as you tried to get away.  “J-James! Stop it!”

And it felt like a little bit of déjà vu, but you didn’t care.  Because there was a feeling in your chest that told you that the brunet with startling blue eyes was here to stay.